Change

For little things I love a bit of the new and different. A new friend, a stitch I’ve never seen, an author I’ve haven’t read, a different furniture arrangement, all exciting and fun.

But sometimes change isn’t little and it isn’t my choice. I’m not a fan of the whole “out of your control” thing. In fact it’s down right terrifying for me and deep down a little part of me is still convinced that I can control the world if I just work hard enough. That somehow I could prevent every problem if I was just more on top of things. If only that were true.

Yesterday a big fat humongous change was dropped on us and there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix it or change it.  After 17 years at Microsoft my husband was laid off. Whopping big change and a mighty big shock.

For most of the day it felt like someone had died. We both came to Seattle to join Microsoft and it’s been a part of my entire adult life. I can hardly imagine not being a softie but as of Friday we aren’t.

I know we will be ok, I know my husband is smart and experienced and will get another job and I know this isn’t the end of the world. No one died. I also know that a chapter of my life is ending, that I don’t know what’s next and that I will have to take what comes with out much control on my part. It’s scary stuff. Really scary.

Here’s the thing though as worried and upset as I am, I’m also relieved and thankful. This is awful. It’s the nightmare come true. And we’re still here. I have my family and we aren’t fighting we are supporting each other, even the kids. Our friends have offered their support and love. What’s really important is still the same. It’s painful to go through hard times but it gives me confidence to know I’m not alone and to know for sure that we will stay a family and love each other no matter the difficulty. 

Plus I’m feeling pretty smug about my stash.

Comments

[irishgirlieknits]

Well, you put a smile on my face with that last comment. That's looking on the bright side. I'm so sorry that this happened and pray that its the beginning of something exciting for DH and you. Big hugs!

[Mo]

Oh no! Seattle is so rich in IT jobs, I am sure your DH will find something quickly. Fingers crossed!

[marcy]

See, stash will help you through! put the word out!!! great attitude. it will help!

[anmiryam]

Good luck with navigating through this change, it sounds as if you have the right approach. Stash is a great consolation in such situations!

[Sherri]

Big (((((hugs))))). Everything will work out great ... go play with some yarn to cheer yourself up a bit ;)

[Melody]

Hang in there, Sam. I've been in your shoes and I know how awful it feels. You do have quite a lovely stash from which to draw comfort. Dive in.

[Nancy]

Sam...my thoughts are with you all. We, too, went through a big change, moons ago, but now 15 years later, DH is looking to be top dog in the same place, an unimaginable option 15 years ago. It will all be okay, it's just the bomb exploding that hurts the most. Onward! xx

[Kathy]

A sincere nod of agreement for the sentiments you've expressed and the perspective you've taken.

[Carole]

Oh my! When I saw this on twitter it took the wind right out of my sails. Just remember, when one door closes, another one opens. <3

[LoriAngela]

It seems late in the game, as if the economy is supposed to be struggling back now. But it's not. You are in my thoughts and prayers. This will be a great opportunity for your husband's next employer.

[Aesox]

Bless your heart!! Thank goodness you and your family are together on this...now to go evaluate my stash :)

[Leslie]

The best part is you've got your new wheel, too! Stay bright and positive as you've been. Change and the unknown is quite scary, but I'm a big believer in situations and circumstances having their purpose and life lessons for us. I'm glad you're focused on what truly matters in life-family, friends and the love and support they offer!

[Zonda]

((hugs)) Sending great vibes for hubby in his search. Sometimes, I think change makes us stronger, but still quite a bit scary! We're here anytime you need us!!

[Neuroknitter]

I'm so sorry to hear about this! It sounds like you've got a good attitude about it all...I'm sure your hubby will land on his feet! Take good care...good thoughts are being sent you way! :)

[Liz]

I'm sorry that your family is having a huge change. We are here for you too.

[MicheleLB/pdxknitterati]

Ouch! Sorry for the big change. Yes, change is scary, but you've got a great attitude, and you know it will be OK.

[misknits]

Hugs Sam! Big fat hugs!

[cupcakefaerie]

I'm so sorry to hear about the unplanned and unwanted change. Sending you and your family many many good wishes for a bright new path ahead. xoxo

Looking forward to seeing you at camp soon!

[linda]

I'm so sorry to hear about this unwelcome change in your life!I'm sure things will work out for the best, especially with your positive attitude. Hugs and best wishes for good things to come.